


Before This Night is Through

by fonulyn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/pseuds/fonulyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four nights, in various stages of their relationship, they stay awake and talk until morning.</p><p>(And each time they’ve grown closer.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. we’ll find our way

**Author's Note:**

> First fic in fandom! Eep! I just finished binge-watching the show (…twice), and I’m still not over the glorious kiss, jsyk. So obviously I had to channel my newfound feelings into fic. Just a heads up: I haven’t read the books, I’ve only watched the show, and even with the show I might’ve taken some liberties because my memory is shoddy at best :’)
> 
> I saw a prompt post on tumblr that went something like “imagine your OTP talking in the middle of the night” and that’s basically what sparked this. Most of the dialogue in the first part is taken straight from episode 1x06. Everything after that is just my imagination!
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy this!
> 
> Titles borrowed from [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrDdta2nuY8) :)

"You know I have magic for that, right?" 

The words startle Alec out of the thoughts he’d been steadily sinking into for a good while. He huffs. "I think you've exerted yourself enough for one day." He only spares a glance upwards, determined to finish cleaning up _his way_ before Magnus decides to use magic anyway. He’s almost done, anyway, there’s no reason for Magnus to push himself any more than necessary.

Perhaps it should be startling, how forcefully he wants to make sure that the warlock is alright. But Alec remembers the exhaustion on Magnus’ face right after he collapsed on his chest, the slight tremble that went through him a telltale sign of his tiredness. He wants to help. And if he gets to spend a few moments with Magnus in the process, then… He determinedly stomps on that particular train of thoughts before it gets any further. 

Magnus hums, and seems content to let Alec have his way, at least for now. It doesn’t take long until he speaks up again, though, raising a glass to Alec in a suggestion. "Drink break?"

_Well, what’s the harm in that_ , Alec reasons inwardly as he gets up and steps closer to take the offered drink. It’s almost hypnotizing, how the liquid sparkles invitingly. He nearly misses the way Magnus says “To us.” as he raises the glass again, eyes fixed on Alec. Only nearly, though, and there’s a strange thud in his chest as it registers. 

He tries to cover up any possible reaction by taking a quick sip, only to make a face immediately afterwards at the surprisingly strong taste of alcohol. He’s grateful that Magnus doesn’t comment on it, even though he’s clearly trying to hide an amused smile. 

To break the silence Alec asks the first thing that’s on his mind. "Why'd you ask for me? When Jace and Clary were both here."

There’s surprise colouring Magnus’ features as he looks up. "Jace didn't tell you?" He waves it aside immediately, though, turning away and shrugging the question off as unimportant. "It doesn't matter. It was a lie anyway." 

A part of Alec wants to insist and ask again, because he has a feeling there must be a reason to it. He chickens out, though. He’s not ready to take that step, because he has no idea what the answer might be. So instead he casts his eyes down. "Are warlocks always this cryptic?"

"I'm not being cryptic. I'm being coy," Magnus replies, slowly turning back around so that they’re facing each other once again. There’s a pause, in which it seems that he’s considering his next move, but he comes to a conclusion soon enough and steps closer. "Let me spell it out for you. I wanted to see you again."

There’s no malice in him, no hint of him saying it just for the sake of playing Alec. He seems entirely genuine, and while Alec is well aware he doesn’t exactly have the best people skills he still feels like he can adequately read them. Suddenly his throat is dry, and he only manages a "Why?" in response.

He only gains a question in return. "Why'd you come?"

That is the million dollar question. Alec has no idea what to answer. Or, he does have ideas, but they’re so ridiculous that he determinedly forces them down instead of risking embarrassing himself. "I'm not sure."

There’s another pause, heavy with something indefinable, and Alec is almost ready to come up with anything to change the subject when Magnus goes on, that same soft look still in his eyes as he meets Alec’s dead on. "For almost a century, I've closed myself off to feeling anything for anyone, man or woman. You've unlocked something in me."

It feels huge. It’s a confession Alec is in no way capable of handling, much less responding to. It’s incomprehensible in so many ways that he could have such an impact on anyone at all, and to hear those words from someone who’s lived literal centuries… 

Suddenly, the moment is broken when Alec’s phone rings. His heart is still thudding in his chest, something constricting in his throat, and he isn’t entirely sure if he’s glad for the interruption or if he’s extremely disappointed because of it. As if on autopilot he answers the call, barely aware of what his mother’s saying in the other end of the line. 

Thankfully, she’s never really expected anything else from him than ‘yes’, ‘whatever you want’ and ‘of course’. She’s hung up in mere seconds, and Alec still hasn’t even managed to recover from the magnitude of the words he heard before the interruption. He turns to Magnus, waving his phone a little apologetically. "Duty calls."

"Ah.” Magnus nods, and it’s as if he consciously pulls up his façade again as the soft look is completely gone at an instant, replaced by a flirtatious sparkle in his eyes. “Oh, furrowed brow. Maryse must be recruiting you for something... unseemly." There’s something a little off, though, like he’s putting himself on autopilot.

It makes Alec feel bad enough that he wants to acknowledge their conversation from before, bring it to some kind of a conclusion instead of letting it hang. He just doesn’t know what to say. "Listen, Magnus, I wish I could-- I-I just don't know--" He’s painfully aware he’s stuttering, and can already feel heat rising to his cheeks and neck with the embarrassed flush that’s bound to follow. 

Thankfully, that’s when Magnus holds a finger up to make him stop talking. He’s smiling slightly again, and there’s nothing but honesty in his voice when he speaks. "I understand."

It’s enough to make an intense wave of relief wash over Alec and he can’t stop from following the movement with his eyes, a grin breaking free on his face.

Magnus seems to perk up at that a bit, and he immediately holds up another one of those sparkly drinks. "Stay for just one more drink?” he asks, and seems infinitely pleased as Alec takes the offered glass from him. “And then decide."

The uncertainty from before is replaced with a little hopeful flutter in Alec’s chest, and this time he manages not to make a face at the burn of the alcohol when he drinks. They stand there for a moment in comfortable silence, before Magnus breaks it with a question that is obviously aimed to be nonchalant but holds a little too much hope in it to quite pass. “So, was that urgent business, or?” 

“No,” Alec answers before he even remembers what it actually _was_ about. He gives a little shrug and a shake of his head, hurrying to explain in hopes of sounding less abrupt. “It’s nothing I can’t handle later. Mother’s just…”

“I don’t need the details,” Magnus cuts in with a smile, and this time his flirty tone feels more playful and less like a front to normalize the situation. “I was just wondering if I get to enjoy your company a bit longer.” He finishes with a wink.

This time Alec does flush a little, and he closes his eyes for a second in an attempt to gain control over it. It doesn’t really work out so well, but the strange thing is, he doesn’t really even mind. He wants to stay, he wants this, even if _this_ is just trying to get used to the taste of alcohol while spending a few fleeting moments with Magnus. He wants it so bad that he gives in. “I can stay. For a while.”

Easily, Magnus guides them to sit on the couch, and Alec takes one last glance before sitting down to make sure that he actually managed to clean it up properly. Apparently him agreeing to staying lifted Magnus’ spirits considerably as he’s talking animatedly, recounting an annoying customer experience from before because something happened to remind him of it. 

It is an interesting story, it truly is, but Alec can’t get his mind focused. He’s simultaneously distracted by Magnus gesturing as he speaks, and unable to suppress the nagging feeling in the back of his skull that his mother’s call managed to ignite.

Obviously he doesn’t do as good a job at covering it as he’d hoped, as after a while Magnus quiets again, giving him a soft look. “Something troubling you?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I mean, no, I…” Alec swallows to stop himself. He takes a large gulp of his drink, finishing it, and immediately his glass is full again. “I’m just tired,” he finishes lamely, knowing that as far as excuses go this one is just pathetic. He feels as if he’s already out of his comfort zone, but he desperately wants to rather walk further out of it instead of returning to safety. 

It’s new, and it’s scary. It’s also exciting.

Magnus can’t read minds, but he has a fairly solid guess when it comes to this. “Something your mother said?”

Alec huffs. “More like implied.” He doesn’t mean to go on, not really, but there is something in Magnus that makes him want to tell him. They’ve only met a handful of times, been alone even less, and usually it takes Alec a lot more to feel comfortable enough to talk about _emotions_. He could count the people he trusts enough with the fingers of one hand, easily.

Yet he finds himself looking up, meeting Magnus’ eyes, and he talks. “She didn’t say anything, really. But I know that she’s disappointed. Again.” It stings to admit it out loud, but it’s the truth. He’s never going to be good enough, not when it comes to his parents. 

“In you?” Magnus asks, arching an eyebrow. He looks incredulous, like it’s completely unbelievable that someone could ever be disappointed in Alec, and that prompts a small smile immediately, even if it’s a ridiculous notion. 

“Yeah.” Alec says, and the smile fades as he remembers the tone his mother had talked in. “All I ever seem to do is disappoint her, even when I do exactly what she asks of me. I don’t–” He swallows and closes his eyes for a second. Then he remembers he’s holding a full drink and takes a hasty sip. “It sucks.”

“It does,” Magnus agrees readily. He watches Alec take another huge gulp of his drink, before he reaches for the glass and gently extracts it from Alec’s grasp to set it aside. Alec’s fingers twitch a bit, but he doesn’t reach out for it, instead resting his hands on his knees. 

“I would tell you to pay it no mind,” Magnus says, naturally placing his hand on Alec’s, giving it a little squeeze. “But I, if anyone, know how hard it is when you want parental approval. It’s not something you can just let go.”

Alec’s a little mesmerized by the handholding, especially by how much he enjoys it himself. It’s only the slightest skin on skin contact, but it warms him all over and he feels some of the tension seep off his shoulders. He almost misses the meaning of Magnus’ words first, but as it sinks in he frowns. “You have parents?” he asks, acutely aware of how ridiculous the question is as soon as it leaves his lips. “Of course you do. I’m, I–”

“Don’t worry, Alexander. It’s an understandable mistake to make,” Magnus winks, obviously not offended in the slightest. “I am so bewitching that it’s hard to remember I was once born, too.”

“You got that right,” Alec murmurs, still embarrassed. He doesn’t really mean to, it’s way more than he was prepared to admit, but any and all hope he might’ve had of the words going unnoticed is gone when Magnus brightens.

Then again, it’s sort of already worth it. 

When Alec stayed behind he didn’t assume for a second that by the end of the evening he’d be having heart-to-hearts with Magnus, sitting side by side on the couch and essentially holding hands. Yet it somehow doesn’t feel threatening, but more like a glimmer of an opportunity in the distance. It’s the most comfortable he’s been in… a long time, really. 

They talk through the night, until the sun creates an orange glow in the horizon, casting soft light through the huge windows into the loft. Alec has never experienced easiness like this with anyone that wasn’t essentially his sibling. Maybe it’s the way Magnus pays attention to him, like he genuinely _wants_ to. Like he cares about the answers to his questions enough to focus on them. It’s not something Alec is used to. It doesn’t happen to him very often. 

Even when they’re already at the front door Alec is reluctant to go. He fidgets a little, again lost for words. “I, uh, I enjoyed… this, tonight.” 

A part of him expects Magnus to laugh at him, to be amused. It’s not like they even did anything, it was just one night in many, especially for someone like Magnus who’s surely had social interactions a thousand times more exciting. He doesn’t expect the soft smile, the clear honesty he gets in return.

“Me too, Alexander. Me too.”


	2. come inside, close the door, come to me now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a few weeks after the almost-wedding.

The door closes behind them with a soft thud. Alec doesn’t know what the protocol is for a situation like this, so he stays hovering at the door as Magnus steps further into the room. It’s Alec’s room at the institute, and it’s also the first time they’ve managed to spend any time together just the two of them ever since the almost-wedding. Alec had been excited when Magnus had invited himself to stay over after a meeting, but now he’s not really sure what he should do.

Magnus, however, doesn’t seem to have any troubles adapting to the situation. He takes a few steps into the room and twirls around slowly, taking in his surroundings. Eventually he stops, head tilted as he gazes at the bare walls. “Interesting.”

It makes Alec a little self-conscious and he shifts in his place. “What?”

“No, I always thought that a person’s room tells a lot about their personality,” Magnus drawls. “The evidence has been overwhelming over the years, and I am fairly good at interpreting people’s living quarters, if I say so myself.” He speaks nonchalantly, but as he’s done he finally looks straight at Alec, offering him a sincere smile. “But you’re infinitely more interesting than this.”

Against his wish, Alec flushes a little. He brings his hand to the back of his neck self-consciously, trying to play it off with a shrug. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Well, I am,” Magnus repeats, firmly. “That’s what counts, don’t you think?” He saunters closer to Alec, coming to a halt only when they’re standing right in front of one another, nearly toe-to-toe. 

The words make something warm splash in Alec’s chest, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t pleased about the statement. He’s still nervous, though, and sort of embarrassed at his lack of hosting skills, or any other skills when it comes to the situation. “Still, I’m sorry. It’s not much. I don’t even have anything to offer you, it’s not like–”

Magnus holds a finger up, again, nearly touching Alec’s lips. It’s sort of becoming a habit, apparently. It’s happened enough to be a pattern. “I didn’t come here for a grand buffet,” he says, half amused, half gentle. Then he frowns theatrically, a smile dancing in the corners of his mouth. “And as nice as cocktails are, I’m not that desperate, I can survive without.” 

Despite the joke, all Alec feels is …wonder. The situation feels entirely unreal. Magnus is here for _him_. Not to ask for a favour, not to perform a task, not because of some official business that needs to be taken care of. He’s only here to see Alec. To spend time with him. Something constricts in his chest and he looks up, gathering every ounce of his confidence to look Magnus straight in the eye. “I’m – I’m really glad you came.”

The answer he gains is a soft smile. “Anything for you, Alexander.” As close as they already are, Magnus shifts even closer, and almost tentatively takes both of Alec’s hands in his own, giving them a slight squeeze. “I’m not even exaggerating here. It might surprise you how far that statement does hold true.”

It’s way too much to comprehend, especially after they’ve known for such a short time. There aren’t many people who would say the same to him. Isabelle for sure, and Jace. But other than them, he doesn’t know if there’s anyone he’d believe those words from, even slightly. Yet the way Magnus says it, with such conviction… Alec can’t help but deflect. “But I’m nothing special.”

“Oh but that’s where you’re mistaken.” Magnus looks almost offended on his behalf. “Think about it. It takes great courage to come out at your own wedding, and so spectacularly, too! I haven’t seen that happen before, and trust me, I have seen a lot in this long life of mine. And that’s just one example of how breathtaking you are.”

A surprised laugh bubbles from Alec’s chest. “I still can’t believe I did that.” It’s like from someone else’s life. Not his.

“You know what? Neither can I.” Magnus grins, linking their fingers. “But as I said. You never cease to amaze me.” He turns around, still holding Alec’s hand, and finally pulls him further into the room. Nonchalantly he sits down on Alec’s bed, and tugs him down to sit next to him. Alec goes easily, willingly, and follows the example when Magnus takes off his shoes and moves to the centre of the bed instead of sitting on the very edge.

They end up sitting on Alec’s bed, knees touching, in a way that should feel far more juvenile than it does. Somewhere in the back of his mind Alec is surprised that he doesn’t feel more nervous. Granted, they’re both obviously fully clothed and the most contact they’ve had that day has been handholding. Yet it probably should be more momentous having Magnus in his bed. No matter the circumstances.

The air is comfortable around them even when they’re silent for a while. The difference to before is that Magnus reaches out more, even if it’s only a soft pat on the knee or a brush of his fingers over Alec’s cheek. He’s soaking in the closeness, making sure that it’s real and that it’s not just a figment of his imagination. That’s something Alec can get behind, as well.

“We still haven’t gone on that date,” Magnus says suddenly, his eyes focused on Alec’s fingers as he’s sort of toying with them. Alec doesn’t stop him, as all of the casual touches feel nice. More than nice. He’s enjoying them at least as much as Magnus is. “Everything keeps coming in the way.”

Alec nods a little absent-mindedly. “Yeah. Maybe we should just, I don’t know, not plan it beforehand so that the plans can’t be thrown off.” Thus far they’ve tried to go out for the promised drinks three times, and every single time something has come to prevent them. Twice it’d been Alec being summoned to help with a mission, once Magnus’ troubles with an old client demanding his attention.

“That’s an interesting idea,” Magnus agrees with a grin. His eyes are sparkling as he tilts his head to catch Alec’s gaze with his own. “Maybe I’ll just come steal you away one evening, when you least expect it.” He tries to sound teasing, but it comes out more sincere than anything.

That’s what Alec likes the most about Magnus: the softness of his nature showing through the glamorous act and all the flirting. He nods, unhesitant, immediately willing to agree to the plan. “I’d like that. Just…”

The way he lets his voice trail off makes Magnus arch an eyebrow questioningly. “Just?”

“Just don’t make me wait too long, okay.”

Magnus laughs freely. “I wouldn’t dream of that. Trust me, I am anxious to do it, too.” He raises Alec’s hand to press a kiss on the back of it, giving an exaggerated wink. “I don’t want to waste a single moment.”

“It’s not like you’re short on time,” Alec huffs, a smile dancing on his lips. All of these grand gestures should be something to make him feel uncomfortable but they’re not. He’s sort of thriving in all the attention. 

“Maybe not,” Magnus admits with a one-shouldered shrug. He breezes on, though. “But the only time that matters is the time I get to spend with you.”

“Stop exaggerating,” Alec says, with a roll of his eyes. There’s a slight flush creeping up his neck, but he chooses to ignore it. The thing is, he would very much like to imagine that the words are true, instead of the flirtatious exaggeration that they are. At present, at least. Maybe he’s being overly optimistic, especially considering they really haven’t even had that official date yet. But he wants to believe that one day the more romantic notions Magnus keeps throwing in the air might actually hold more truth. He clears his throat, tentatively looking up to meet Magnus’ eyes. “We’re not there …yet.”

Magnus’ lips twitch in a suppressed grin at that, like he’s trying very hard not to look too pleased. He’s obviously flattered, though, and there’s a glint of something like hope in his eyes. “Fine. I’ll save them.”

From then on, the conversation drifts from possible places to go to on their date to whatever happens to cross their minds. 

It’s way past five am when Magnus conjures a portal to leave. 

“I’d better leave you to your beauty sleep,” Magnus winks. There’s something incredibly soft in his eyes when he reaches out, though, brushing his fingertips over the column of Alec’s jaw. “Not that you’d need any.” 

Alec doesn’t know what to say, he’s always sucked at receiving compliments. So he leans in for a kiss instead. It’s soft and tentative, as they’re both basking in the knowledge that they get to have this now, they get to have as many of these moments as they want. There can be kisses to say hello, to say goodbye, and for everything in between. They can take this and turn it into something real, something that’s just for the two of them.

When the kiss breaks Magnus smiles, and without a word steps backwards into the portal, never breaking eye-contact. Alec stands there for the longest, even when the portal is long gone, not even a glimmer of it left. Only then he quickly changes for bed and slips between the covers. He still has over two hours before his alarm signals the start of a new day, but he already knows he won’t be getting any sleep tonight. 

Everything is so very new. Full of possibilities. Even the disapproval from his parents – mainly his mother – doesn’t dim that right now, nor does the obviously uncertain future they have. Here, at this moment, it feels that whatever may come, it can be sorted out.

Alec feels like a fifteen-year-old when he lies awake in his bed, grinning into his pillow, full of giddy joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked! More shall follow soon.
> 
> And again, feel free to come chat with me [on tumblr](http://varjomaailmani.tumblr.com/) if you want! :)


	3. before this night is through, it's gonna heal the pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another relationship milestone, a few years down the road.
> 
> (Also an appearance from Isabelle!)

When Alec comes to, the first thing he registers is the pain. It’s everywhere all over his body, and as soon as he moves even the slightest it gets even worse. He tries to shift a little, but apparently there isn’t an inch of him that wouldn’t be injured because literally _everything_ hurts. He doesn’t really even register that the groan escapes his own throat, not before there’s an urgent voice – Isabelle, his mind supplies – calling his name. 

“Alec? Are you awake?” 

Carefully, he opens one eye, and just as he predicted the bright light in the room makes his head throb even worse. He forces himself to open both of his eyes, though, even if not as wide as he normally would. “I–” he starts, but gets interrupted by a coughing fit that, fuck, makes the pain explode from his bruised ribs. 

Alec’s voice doesn’t seem to work, either, and he gratefully takes a sip when Isabelle holds a glass of water for him to drink. It’s only then that he registers that someone’s holding his hand. He can’t hold back a smile when he sees it’s Magnus, sitting in the chair right next to the bed on his right side, staring at Alec as if he might disappear if he as much as blinks. It makes something warm swell in his chest, to have Magnus right there, by his side, and he wants to… he doesn’t know what he wants, really. Except never to let go of his hand.

He doesn’t get a chance to say anything, though. Isabelle grabs his free hand in hers, almost frantic as she leans closer, eyes fiery with emotion. “Why do you always have to be so self-sacrificing!? You gave me a heart attack!” 

“Izzy, please,” Alec groans silently, “my head is killing me.” It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the concern from his sister, he does. She could just be a little quieter about it, at the moment. 

“Serves you right,” she grumbles, but immediately lowers her voice. She’s frowning, and holding Alec’s hand in a vice-like grip that almost hurts. Then again, everything hurts right now, as far as Alec’s concerned. “When you’re feeling better I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Remind me to stay in bed for at least a month, then,” Alec jokes, weakly. He doesn’t know how bad it is, really, sometimes smaller injuries can hurt exceptionally much too. But considering his sister’s reaction, and the way Magnus just sort of stares at him, looking pinched… it can’t have been too good. 

Magnus speaks then, for the first time since Alec opened his eyes. His voice is as soft as his grip on Alec’s hand is, and he leans a bit forward in the chair he’s occupying. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck?” Alec hazards a guess. It’s not like he’s ever been hit by a large vehicle, but well, he can’t imagine it’d be much different. Except maybe he wouldn’t have so many stinging cuts in the midst of the bruises. He just hopes that no one else got hurt as bad as he did, and when that thought registers properly his eyes fly wide. “How’s… where’s Jace? And Lydia, and Clary, and–” 

“They’re fine,” Isabelle cuts in, instead of letting him list every single person they had with them. “There were some cuts, some broken bones, the usual. Clary got a concussion so bad she had to stay in bed for almost two days but that’s about it. It’s all taken care of. You’re the one who gave us a scare.” She still seems angry about that, and Alec looks down sheepishly. He knows it’s because she worries, and it makes him doubly sorry. 

Only then, something clicks. “Wait what? Two days? How long has it been?” 

“Almost a week,” Isabelle says, at the same time as Magnus replies with, “Six days.”

Alec’s expression must ask all the questions for him, as Isabelle merely shrugs and goes on. “At first it was decided you’d be better off kept unconscious for a while. You know, to help you heal. But after three days we tried to wake you up again and nothing happened. That’s what scared us the most. Well, that _and_ you falling off a damn building.” 

“The demon injected you with some kind of venom, too,” Magnus adds, silently, “and first we didn’t know what it was, so we couldn’t deal with it. That’s why you’re healing so slowly. You’ll just have to wait out the bruising.”

“I’m sorry.” Alec closes his eyes, trying to breathe in deeply without making it hurt even worse. 

“Just never do that again. Ever,” Isabelle commands.

Alec gives her a weak smile, opening his eyes to look at her again. “I’ll try.”

Isabelle nods approvingly, and then finally smiles. “I’ll go tell the others you’re awake. And try to keep them at bay until tomorrow so you get to rest,” she says, her eyes shining with affection. The _it’ll give you two time to be alone, too_ , goes unsaid, but it’s heavily implied anyway. Magnus is still holding Alec’s hand carefully between his palms, his gaze never leaving Alec’s face. 

Isabelle raises a finger at Alec then, trying to aim for a stern tone even though her smile is watery and her voice wavers slightly. “If you need _anything_ , let me know. I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the night, okay. Let me know. Otherwise I’ll come see you in the morning. And I’ll bring everyone, so be prepared.”

She leans in and presses her lips against Alec’s temple, carefully hugging him while trying not to hurt him. She gets up then, patting Magnus’ shoulder as she passes him, and saunters out of the room. She closes the door behind herself carefully, and leaves the two in complete silence. 

“She’s right, you know,” Magnus says after a moment. He repeatedly brushes his thumb over Alec’s knuckles, the soft caress probably all he dares to do for the fear of jostling Alec too much. “You should start thinking of yourself, too.”

“It was an accident,” Alec argues weakly. “I didn’t mean to hurl myself into the street. I misjudged the step and tripped.” It sounds so embarrassing when it’s put like that, but it’s essentially the truth. He did jump at a demon to get it off his sister, but he had no intentions to lose his balance and end up falling down with it, or to get a long gash on his side from the demon. It might’ve been stupid, and an error of judgement, but he didn’t do it because he wanted to sacrifice himself.

He might have, one day. But he’s come a long way since then.

“I know that it’s impossible to avoid accidents in your line of work, darling,” Magnus says, voice carefully controlled, as if it might betray him if he doesn’t consider every single word carefully. “Yet I would rest easier if I knew you were at least trying to be more careful.”

Alec knows all of that. It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation. Although it is the first time he’s lying in a bed too hurt to consider moving while they’re having it. There’s something new in the careful way Magnus is holding himself, as if he’s trying to hold back something of a great magnitude. Alec swallows thickly. “Are you mad at me?”

He has never seen Magnus quite like this before, and he doesn’t know what to do with it. His heart speeds up, palms sweating, and if he’s honest with himself he’s scared of what the answer will be.

“No. I’m not angry, Alexander,” Magnus says, and Alec releases a breath he’s holding. He doesn’t manage to say anything before Magnus goes on, though. “But I do wish you’d never do that again. I–” Magnus sighs, keeping his head lowered, gaze down. His voice sounds choked. “I can’t lose you. When I thought that you wouldn’t wake up, it was the longest few days I’ve ever experienced.”

“I’m–”

“Seriously, Alexander.” Finally, Magnus looks up, and there are unshed tears welling in his eyes. He holds Alec’s gaze dead on though, not even blinking. “I don’t have the adequate words to describe how much I mean that. I _can’t_ watch you die.” 

He looks devastated, and Alec wants nothing more than just to wipe that expression off Magnus’ face and make him smile again. He wants to assure Magnus and tell him not to worry, wants to promise him that he never has to do anything that causes him pain. Yet it’s not how life works. It’s not in his power to promise such things. 

Even though his muscles ache he reaches out, cupping Magnus’ cheek in his palm. “One day, you will have to.” He doesn’t know why he even says the obvious out loud, but there it is.

Magnus leans into the touch and closes his eyes. “And it will break me into a thousand pieces.” He speaks softly, with so much honesty it hurts. When he opens his eyes again, he tries to smile. “Even then, I’d appreciate if you’d live to be at least ninety, and I would have at least some forewarning. I can’t live solely for my work, now can I.” He aims for a joking tone but it falls flat, his expression strained. 

“Magnus, I can’t promise you that,” Alec says, voice thick with emotion. “But I’ll do everything I can. It’s not like I _want_ to get killed, either.”

“That is all I ask.” Magnus nods, clearly grateful. He smiles, then, and it’s ten times more genuine than the pained attempt from before. “Enough serious talk. You need rest! I can – and I _will_ – come back to this when you’re feeling all better. Besides,” he smirks, “I am fairly sure your dear sister has more in store for you.”

Alec groans, allowing his head to fall backwards as he squeezes his eyes shut. “Don’t remind me. She’s not going to have any mercy.” He knows that she worries, and that everything she does is because she cares, but he doesn’t have to be happy to be scolded. 

Laughing, Magnus gets up and goes to the small side-table to pour them both a glass of water. “Which is one of the reasons why I am so fond of her. She is quite magnificent,” he says, while handing the other glass to Alec. He sits back down, then, crossing his legs nonchalantly.

Theatrically, Alec frowns, even if all he wants to do is grin happily, now that he knows that things are going to work out fine. “You should’ve asked _her_ out instead of me if she’s that fantastic.” He takes a long sip from his glass and water has never tasted as heavenly before.

“Oh, darling,” Magnus waves his hand, “I think we both know that would’ve never worked out. I love her, but not like that.”

For a moment they just sit there in silence, enjoying each other’s presence. Alec considers asking for something to eat, but then decides that he’s not really that hungry. He might not be able to hold anything down, anyway, with the way he still feels sort of woozy. He rather wants to sleep, and have a hearty breakfast later.

Suddenly he’s drawn from his thoughts when Magnus speaks up. “Why don’t you move in with me?”

It’s sudden enough that Alec almost thinks he’s misheard. He blinks, looking at Magnus with wide eyes. “What?”

“Come on, Alexander. It’s not a scandalous suggestion, you don’t need to act like that,” Magnus jokes, but there’s a hint of something like nervousness in his expression, in the set of his shoulders as he leans closer. “We’ve been doing this for over three years now. I think it’s not a bad idea to… settle down?” He arches his eyebrow questioningly, and as he always does, patiently waits for Alec to form a reply.

It is tempting, more than that. Alec has spent the night over at Magnus’ loft several times, obviously, but it’s an entirely different thing to be a guest in someone’s home than to call it home yourself. He imagines how it’d be to have a drawer for his clothes and space in the bathroom for his things as well, how it’d feel to morph the loft to be a home for _them_. 

Alec doesn’t notice how long he’s considered the option until the expression on Magnus’ face starts to show signs of nervousness, and when Magnus seems to be on the verge of breaking the silence Alec hurries to beat him to it. “Okay.” He nods, to confirm the words even further, and can’t stop the wide grin from breaking free. 

Magnus mirrors the grin, happiness shining in his eyes. “Great! It’ll be fun! We can redecorate together.” He seems to be enthusiastically planning it all in his mind already, if his gesturing is anything to go by. “As soon as you’re out of bedrest, I’ll just–”

“I would–” Alec cuts in, pauses for a second to search for words, and eventually settles on “I’d really prefer to get out of the infirmary as soon as possible.” He’s always hated the sterile surroundings there, and he’d much rather spend his time recovering somewhere else. Preferably with Magnus. In his – no, _their_ home. The mere thought makes him giddy.

If Magnus is surprised, he manages to quickly cover it up. Readily, he agrees, without hesitation. “Of course. I’ll ask if I can take you home tomorrow. They might want to watch over you for a while but there’s no reason I can’t do that. I can be a regular Florence Nightingale if I want to be.” He winks.

“Thank you.” Alec feels like his face might get stuck with the amount he’s smiling. And that after almost getting killed. Goes to show how big of an impact Magnus always has on his mood, has on him overall. 

Whatever Magnus plans on replying gets lost in a huge yawn, one he tries to cover with his hand. He chuckles, shaking his head a bit. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’m exhausted.” 

It’s only then that Alec realizes how tired Magnus does indeed look. His eyeliner is smudged, there are dark circles under his eyes, his hair is completely messed in a way that looks like he’s run his fingers through it too many times. Somehow, he looks more gorgeous than ever. Yet Alec worries. “Have you been here the entire time?”

Magnus nods. “Yes. Isabelle was here a lot, too. And whenever she wasn’t, Jace was. Everyone’s been very worried about you. Especially since no one could do anything. Not even magic seemed to do a thing…” He looks gutted about that, as if it’s both a professional and a personal failure. 

Undeniably it feels good to hear that people consider him important enough to worry about, but there’s also a great deal of regret for making them worry at all. Alec decides to push those thoughts aside, for now, and instead focus on returning the care at least as much as he can. “Come here.” He shifts a little, ignoring the way his body protests as he moves, and makes room in the bed. To underline what he means, he pats the mattress next to himself, in clear invitation. 

Willingly, Magnus moves to first sit on the side of the bed, and then carefully takes the freed space next to Alec. He takes time finding a position where he’s as close as possible without putting unnecessary pressure on Alec’s bruises, and when he deems himself done he still makes sure to ask “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” Alec says firmly and shakes his head, “this is perfect.”

Magnus falls asleep first, squeezed close to Alec in the too narrow bed, his arm slung over Alec’s chest. Even though Alec feels like a giant bruise all over he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He stays awake for hours, listening to the steady breaths Magnus takes, enjoying the fact that he’s still alive. He still gets to have this. 

His last thought before he falls asleep is that starting tomorrow, he gets to fall asleep next to Magnus every night.

And wake up next to him every morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and let me know if you liked! :3
> 
> Also still on [tumblr](http://varjomaailmani.tumblr.com/) if you want to come say hi!


	4. I've been crazy for you, so long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several years later.

Quiet moments alone have become more and more frequent during their years together, but there can never be enough of them if Magnus is asked. Never. He could have a thousand years of moments like this and it still wouldn’t mean he would’ve had his fill.

Alec’s lying face down in the middle of the bed, entirely relaxed and languid in a way he rarely is. Even when he sleeps he seems to be half on alert, ready to fight immediately upon waking up if necessary. Magnus can do that too, being hunted and searched for a big part of his life has taught him a thing or two of being ready at a moment’s notice. Yet Alec has perfected it.

Which is why it’s sort of a special treat to have him like this, already half-asleep and pleasantly tired in a way that leaves him practically boneless. Magnus has long since wowed to himself to make this happen as often as possible. He smiles to himself in the darkness of the room, the light so dim he barely sees the rune on Alec’s neck. Nevertheless, he traces it with his finger, the touch feathery soft.

He gains a small smile for his efforts, and Magnus can’t stop one from blossoming on his face in return. “Are you asleep?” Magnus asks, shifting the touch to the nape of Alec’s neck, only to then brush his fingers through his hair. He could swear he hears Alec purr at the caress, but it’s gone as soon as it came.

The reply he gets is a single grunt. “Yes.”

“Oh darling, you’re always so charming when you’re sleepy.” Magnus laughs. It’s no secret that Alec does value his sleep, and even if he can function already a split second after waking up he is the grumpiest person in the world about it. Magnus does find it charming. He knows he’s hopelessly in love, has been for years already. Playfully he nudges Alec’s temple with his knuckles. “I find the grumpiness appealing, although I can’t quite pinpoint why.”

This time Alec forces one eye open, looking clearly unimpressed. “Did you wake me up just to tell me that.” It’s not even a question, really, rather than a statement. 

“No,” Magnus shakes his head and shifts closer, enjoying the familiar way they fit together. He presses his face close and plants a chaste kiss on Alec’s cheek. He loves how touches like these have grown so natural to both of them, as easy as breathing. “I do have a question.”

“Go on,” Alec prompts. He’s not even bothering to keep up appearances anymore, the seriousness replaced by softness, as he allows himself to enjoy the moment unashamedly. 

For a second, Magnus hesitates. A part of him wants to hold on to the peace of the moment and just stay silent, but then again… he’s been holding on to his findings for a while, trying to make sure they’re correct and waiting for the moment to speak up. “What would you say if I told you I want to spend the rest of my life with you?” he begins.

Alec opens his eyes again, looking straight at Magnus. There’s a hint of sadness in his eyes, a soft downwards curve to his mouth. “I’d remind you that while you have an eternity to spare, I don’t.” The words themselves might be harsh, but the way he says it is infinitely gentle. 

It’s more than enough to make Magnus’ heart constrict with pure affection. He leans in and steals a quick kiss before he goes on, to finally get to the point. “What if I had a way of changing that?”

Immediately Alec is on high alert. He props himself up with his elbow, frowning down at Magnus. “What do you mean?”

With a snap of his fingers Magnus lights a couple of candles on the nightstand as he sits up, providing them with enough light to actually see each other properly. Alec arches an eyebrow, giving a pointed look at the ceiling lamp, but Magnus only shrugs. “Nothing wrong with a romantic lighting, is there? Even if we’re to have a _serious_ discussion.” The cursive is practically audible in his voice, would have been even without the accompanying wink. 

Alec rolls his eyes but sits up dutifully. Once he might’ve tried to pull the covers up, too self-conscious about himself to sit there with someone, anyone, whilst unclothed. Now it doesn’t even cross his mind. His attention is entirely on Magnus.

It leaves no other alternative than to start with the explanations. “Unfortunately, I can’t grant you immortality. The only ways to achieve that would be… well, something you should never go through.” Magnus shrugs a little, knowing they’re on the same page about that. Some options are out of the question. When he goes on, he already braces himself for an argument. “I can, however, take away mine.”

As predicted, Alec’s eyes fly wide and he immediately shakes his head. “What!? Magnus, _no_.” He looks almost spooked by the mere thought.

Magnus reaches out, placing his hand on Alec’s arm. The touch is warm and he squeezes a little, keeping his voice calm and level. “It’s my life, Alexander. It’s my eternity to trade.” And he has thought about it, he has considered it and weighed his options. It’s not a decision he’s making lightly. He has, also, expected the resistance coming from Alec.

“You can’t possibly think that–”

Impatiently, Magnus cuts in, desperate to make Alec understand his side of things. “I have lived for a long time, Alexander. I’ve seen things no mortal could hope to see in just one lifetime. It’s been a gift.” He pauses for long enough that Alec looks up and meets his eyes, and holds the contact as he goes on, pouring all of his honesty into the words. “But I don’t want it anymore. I’d rather have a limited, mortal life. With you.”

Alec frowns, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to just argue for the sake of arguing. He’s actually going over it in his mind, and already that makes Magnus glad they’re having the conversation. They’ve always been able to talk things through, and it’s one of the things Magnus values the most in their relationship. 

Finally, after a surprisingly long pause, Alec speaks up, slowly, as if he’s measuring his words even as he goes. “I don’t understand why you’d have to let it go, though. You can stay with me – if you still want to – even if I grow old and you don’t. And that way you’ll still have… when… I mean, when I’m gone, you can find someone else to–”

“Stop right there.” Magnus shakes his head firmly. There’s a small smile dancing at the edges of his mouth as he goes on. “How _dramatically romantic_ do I have to get that you finally believe me when I say there is no one else?” He grabs Alec’s hands. “There _will be_ no one else.”

“I do believe you.” Alec smiles. It’s clear that he does. It’d be difficult not to, especially after all they’ve shared, after all of their years together. “But eternity is a long time. You don’t know what could be in store for you in the future. You could have centuries after I’m long gone, you could find someone. Or what about your work? You always complain about it but you love magic, you love being the High Warlock of Brooklyn.”

“I do, but how long can one live for their work alone, or some what ifs and maybes? Alexander. I love you. And I know you love me, you’ve said it enough times.” Magnus pauses, arches an eyebrow and considers a second. “Showed it even more. You’ve always been more of a show don’t tell kind of a person.” He winks good-naturedly, and only after gaining an amused eyeroll from Alec, he goes on seriously. “I will die one day, immortal or not. Everyone dies at some point, and it doesn’t have to be old age that does me in. Why is it so bad if I _choose_ it to be?”

Alec doesn’t say anything. He sits there, his hands in Magnus’ hands, and simply looks at him. He seems to be considering everything they’ve said for now, turning it all over in his mind to make sense of it. 

When it’s still silent after a good while Magnus speaks up again, gentle but firm. “See. It makes sense. I have thought about this, it’s not just a whim, I’m not deciding this lightly. I want to grow old with you. Do not be mistaken, I will complain about every grey hair and every wrinkle and every ache. I’ll be absolutely unbearable before long. But I _want_ it.”

Alec shakes his head a little, but he doesn’t even try to hide the soft smile. “It’s not my place to decide for you. But I’d wish you’d reconsider.” 

“Fine,” Magnus agrees easily. “We don’t need to decide it tonight. We’ll talk about it again later. Just, think it over? Because I mean it. I want us to become that old, boring married couple sitting in rocking chairs next to one another.”

“Married?” Alec laughs, a sparkle back in his eyes. “Are you proposing?” He says it teasingly, like they’ll have a laugh about it and go on to switch the topic, like they’ve done several times before. They’ve joked about marriage, even mentioned it in passing sometimes, but it’s never really been a topic of a serious conversation before. 

…which is why it takes Alec by surprise when Magnus merely hums and nods. “As a matter of fact, I am.” He snaps his fingers again, accompanying it with a twist of his wrist, and there’s suddenly a small box in his hand. He opens it, slowly and with the kind of flourish that his movements tend to have. “Will you marry me, Alexander Gideon Lightwood?”

Alec looks at the simple ring for a moment, mouth open in surprise, but soon enough a smile is already spreading on his lips, a low – sort of disbelieving – laugh escaping him. He reaches out, but before his fingers touch the ring he stops, looking at Magnus as if he’s just thought of something. “I… If I say yes it doesn’t mean I’m fine with your whole mortality plan.”

“I already promised, we can settle that another time,” Magnus reassures him. His chest feels tight with emotion, affection flooding him as he looks at the man in front of him, the person he wants to spend his life with. Alec has truly unlocked something in him, something that he didn’t even know existed. Not at this magnitude. 

Alec’s smile widens. “Then yes.”

The words have barely been spoken when Alec already leans forward, and Magnus meets him halfway. The kiss tastes like promises, like hopes and dreams, like honesty and companionship.

Like love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire thing was so incredibly self-indulgent tbh :'D I haven't had such fun writing in ages. 
> 
> If you want, you can find me [on tumblr](http://varjomaailmani.tumblr.com/), please feel free to come fangirl with me! :3 I’m not opposed to drabble prompts, either.
> 
> Thank you for reading, let me know if you liked!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want, you can find me [on tumblr](http://varjomaailmani.tumblr.com/), please do come fangirl with me!
> 
> Thank you for reading. Part two should follow soon :)


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